


Princess

by readandwrite



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 02:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3101093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readandwrite/pseuds/readandwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke couldn't stop thinking of Finn Collins. Of how her knife penetrated his body. Of how his blood poured out into her hand. </p>
<p>Finn wouldn't stop appearing into her nightmares. His voice wouldn't leave her mind...as well as his nickname for her.</p>
<p>Bellamy couldn't stop caring about Clarke. All he wanted was to keep Clarke out of her misery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Princess

Finn died. And I killed him.

A week had passed since we finally had a truce with the Grounders. It was a loose peace treaty and we were secretly encouraged to bring guns with us all the time in case the Grounders decided to start a war once again. It was a week since I killed Finn as well. I could still remember the warmth of his body before he finally exhaled his last small breath. Bellamy told me I did what I was supposed to do. I believed him. But it was not enough. I hurt Raven. I hurt myself. 

It was a torture trying to sleep at night. I would be sitting inside my tent for hours, thinking what if I didn’t kill Finn. Would we win the battle with the Grounders? Would our ammunition be enough? Would I be willing to kill a lot of innocent people? And I knew the answers to those questions: no. Maybe that was the reason I killed Finn. Maybe I was not willing to see more deaths. Maybe I was so done with myself that I killed the one I loved. Maybe.

There were nights that I could sleep, though. Well, for two hours at most. I would wake up from a nightmare, panting hard. Finn would be in my nightmare and his whisper would be in repeat.

_“Thanks, princess.”_

I would never hear the word princess the same again without thinking of Finn and the bloody knife I used to kill him. The word haunted me in my sleep. The word reminded me of Finn’s blood in my hands.  
I cried a lot. I cried for myself. I cried for the rest of the 100. I cried for Finn. I cried until my eyes wouldn’t open anymore.

“Clarke?”

Wait, Bellamy? I sat up from my mat and rubbed my eyes free from tears. God, I must look like I just came out of a crying fest (which really did happen). Since I could not do anything about it, I stood up and zipped open my tent. I was right; it was Bellamy on the other side of the tent. He was standing there with muddy hands and a serious face. 

He cleared his throat, looking unsure. “Hey.”  
“Hey.”

Ugh. My voice sounded broken. _Just like I am._

“What’s up?” I tried to regain my voice.  
“The Grounders invited us to a banquet in their village. I just thought you should know. We’re encouraged not to go, though. No worries.” He seemed nervous. I wonder why. “Yeah, that’s all. I should go and let you rest.”

He took a step backward, posing to leave when I grabbed his wrist. 

“Wait.” I shook my head and released his wrist. “I’m sorry I’m acting like this.”  
“Acting like this?” He sounded confused.  
“You know, sad, moping around. I shouldn’t be like this. We need to save our friends and I’m crying around, letting them stay in danger.”

I could feel tears building under my eyes. God, here goes the last of my dignity. I casually wiped away the building tears. I stepped back and made space for Bellamy to sit. He sat down beside me and awkwardly patted my back a few times. I could not help myself but to laugh.

“What?” He almost shouted and removed his hand.

_Awkward Bellamy._

“Nothing.” I whispered, trying not to laugh.  
He cleared his throat and put on a serious face. “Clarke, you don’t need to apologize being sad. You lost someone you love, you cry. It’s normal. You don’t need to tell others you’re sorry for crying.”  
“I know. I just feel like I don’t have the right to cry because, basically…” _I’m the one who killed him._

The words hung between us. Once again, the night I killed Finn replayed inside my mind. Chaos. Laughter. Cries. Screams. The Grounders celebrated right away and let Finn’s body tied onto the log be pestered by flies. 

“You did what you had to do.” He whispered.  
“I’m sorry, Bellamy. For killing Finn.” 

And then I broke down. Bellamy held me tight while I cry. My tears must be wetting his sleeves but I don’t care. And I know he didn’t, as well. He wasn’t crying but I knew he was mourning. He treated Finn like a brother and I knew he cared for him.   
Bellamy took away the hurt I’d been feeling since that night. He helped me carrying the pain, bringing me comfort and safeness. I knew I was about to fall asleep in his arms, my mind was starting to shut down. But before I shut the world behind me, I heard Bellamy.

“You did what you had to do, princess.” He whispered into my ear.

For the first time after the night we lost Finn, I fell asleep easily and the word princess didn’t haunt me.

**Author's Note:**

> It isn't that good but I hope you still liked it. Hahaha. It isn't much but I cannot stop thinking about Clarke and her suffering and ya know, I ship Bellarke so much...so yeah.That's it. Thanks for reading! :)


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